What Comes After
by NatesDate
Summary: A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.
1. Helen

**What Comes After**

**Summary: **A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** For some reason the section was originally known as Section B, and then after Series 3 it switched to Section D. I'm sticking with Section D for simplicity's sake. Please also remember that this is a work of fiction and not a representation of a belief system. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

* * *

_Chapter 1 - Helen_

The gardens are Helen's favorite place to visit. They're lush and warm, like the gardens in summer that she remembers from her childhood. Despite the background noise from the animals, she enjoys the peace and quiet she finds here. It's during one of these visits that she received word that someone has come to see her.

Helen smiled at the news. There was no place for sadness in this beautiful place.

* * *

Helen entered the room and was glad to see that her visitor had not yet arrived. She remembers how disoriented she felt when she arrived and there was no one to greet her. It was only a moment later when the door opened and Danny Hunter walked into the room.

She greeted him with smile. "Danny, it's wonderful to see you again. Welcome."

Danny smiled back but his eyes also showed confusion. He looked around the room, but there were no clues as to his whereabouts. "Helen? Where am I? What happened?"

Helen gestured towards a sofa that was against one wall. "Let's sit down and I'll tell you all about this place."

Danny didn't seem to want to sit, but Helen's calm demeanor was rubbing off on him so he followed and sat down, turning to face her.

"I remember how I felt when I first came through that door. There was no one to greet me right away and I was terribly confused. Eventually someone realized I was here and explained what had happened. Once I adjusted to my new situation, I decided that no one else from Section D would arrive without a familiar face to greet them. So here I am. However, that doesn't answer your questions about where you are and what this place is. Danny, this is Heaven. You've died and now you're in Heaven."

She wasn't surprised at the surprise in his eyes. She'd seen enough people arrive to know that most everyone was at least caught off guard by the revelation. It didn't really seem to matter whether they had believed in heaven while they were alive. The surprise that they were there was enough.

Danny still hadn't said anything. "Danny? Do you have any questions? You can ask me anything, I'm happy to answer."

Danny ran his hands over his head then rested his elbows on his knees. "I don't even know what to say."

"Well, let's start with something easy. Do you remember how you died?" Helen asked.

At her question, his hands started to rub the back of his head. "I was shot in the back of the head. Fiona and I, well Fiona's another officer in Section D, she and I were kidnapped. We almost escaped but we were caught, so they decided that one of us had to die. The kidnapper was on the phone to Adam, who's the Section Chief as well as Fiona's husband, telling him to choose. I knew he wouldn't do it, that he couldn't do it. Adam and Fiona have a young son, Wes, and all I could think about was that little boy not ever seeing his mother again. I had it in my power to prevent that, so I provoked the kidnapper and he killed me rather than Fiona. I hope that Adam was able to find her in time." He turned to Helen and put his hand on her forearm. "Is that something we can find out?"

Helen smiled at his request. "Yes, we can find out whether Fiona survived. In fact you'll have the opportunity to check on your friends and family."

At this, Danny knew immediately who he wanted to check on. "Zoe. I want to check in on Zoe. She was found guilty of murder as a part of an op and Harry was able to smuggle her out of the country rather than sending her to jail. She had to go to Chile."

Helen nodded. "It's common to check in on loved ones, but we really are discouraged from watching their every move. There isn't anything we can do about what happens to them, and it's best to just let them live their life and then greet them when they arrive here." She paused, letting the information sink in. "How's everyone else on the Grid? You mentioned that someone name Adam was Section Chief. What happened to Tom?"

"Harry, Malcolm, Colin, they're all good. a few months after your death, Jed transferred to another section, so I haven't seen him in ages. As for Tom, I don't know how he is. He went through a rough period and Harry decommissioned him a few months before Zoe had to leave. Rumour has it that he hooked up with a former CIA officer to start a private security firm. It's a long story and I promise to share it with you later. But first, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course you can," Helen responded. "What would you like to know?"

"When you… died, how much do you remember? We all read Tom's report of the events of that night, and well, it wasn't easy to read what you went through."

Helen reached out and took Danny's hand into her own. Even though he was asking about her death, she felt that he needed the comfort of another's touch.

"What I went through right before I died was painful, but thankfully the gunshot itself was quick, as you know. I don't dwell on it, and I honestly can't remember the pain of that experience, other than I know that it was painful. That's one of benefits of being in this place; you can remember bad things that happened to you, but you don't remember the pain itself, whether it was physical or emotional. I'm happy here, Danny. Life, or whatever you want to call it, is good here."

Danny was quiet for a few minutes, and Helen knew from experience that it was best to give him time to process their conversation. Eventually he turned back to her and asked what happens next.

"Well, I can show you around and generally let you know how things work here," Helen responded. "I have one more question for you, before we go, I want to ask something of you." Helen stood and walked over to a window in the room, before turning around to face Danny. "When I arrived here, there was no one to greet me. I sat in a room like this and was so confused. The last thing I remember was being in that kitchen with Tom and those men, and then I found myself here. It was only a few moments before someone found me and explained everything. Like you, what I was hearing seemed surreal and I wasn't sure if I could believe it or whether I'd wake up in hospital with a white jacket on."

Danny smiled at this. He stood up and walked over to stand near Helen, leaning up against the wall facing her.

"Once I'd really accepted what had happened, I made a vow that no one else from Section D would arrive without someone to greet them. Some people are greeted by family members or other loved ones, but it really depends upon who has died before them and whether anyone has requested to greet them. There aren't secrets here, so it's not like we can't talk about the kind of work we did, but I also know that it's easier to talk about the life we led with someone else in the same line of work. So, that's why I'm here."

Helen found herself wrapped in a hug from Danny. "Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot to me."

Helen returned the embraced, then pulled back. "Will you do the same for the next person that arrives? I can show you how to make the request. I'd like for it to become a tradition."

Danny nodded. "I'd be honored to carry on the tradition. I just hope it's not too soon that I'm back here greeting someone."

"Time here doesn't work the same way it did when we were alive, but I'll explain that to you later. I know what you mean though," Helen said. She gestured to the door. "Shall we leave? I can show you around and help get you situated." She moved towards the door.

"That would be great. I find that I'm looking forward to exploring this place." Danny moved towards the door as well.

Helen paused at the door and turned back to Danny. "Besides, you never know when we might stumble across a cricket match." She smiled as she walked through the door, as Danny followed with a similar smile on his face.


	2. Danny

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews and your support. You do know how to make a girl smile.

* * *

_Chapter 2 -Danny_

This was one of the most amazing things about this place – being able to watch some of the greatest cricket players ever play together. It's not like he was ever going to see John Wisden, W.G. Grace, and Sir Donald Bradman anyplace other than here. He was enjoying such a match when he heard his name called, letting him know that he had a visitor arriving soon. He watched the match for another moment, and then headed to the room.

As he arrived, Danny wondered who would be walking through the door. He missed his co-workers and would enjoy the chance to see them again, but if he did, that would mean they were dead. That would mean that their loved ones left behind were grieving, which wasn't a thought that he relished. He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the door open.

"Where am … Danny? Is that you?"

Danny's head popped up at the female voice. "Fiona," he said with a sigh. He stood up to greet her with an embrace. After a long moment, Danny pulled back and gestured to the sofa. "Let's sit down and we can catch up."

Fiona settled next to Danny and before he could say anything, she said, "I'm dead, right? I mean, I was there when you were killed." She reached over and clasped his hand.

Danny smiled at the gesture. "Yes, Fiona, you're dead. I have to say, you don't seem all that surprised. Can you tell me how it happened?"

She took a moment to organize her thoughts. "You knew that I was married before Adam, right?" Fiona started.

"Yes, Adam told me that he set your husband up as a Mossad agent and that he was executed," Danny replied.

"That's right, except that his death was faked. Farook really was a Mossad agent, so they covered everything up. About six months ago, I ran into an old friend from Syria. She told me what happened after I left, the terror he caused among my friends. She also told me that he wasn't killed and that he'd gone into hiding. She'd tried to find me and warn me, but when I moved back to Britain I changed my name and she couldn't find me.

"I think that's when I knew that it was only a matter of time before he would find me. I tried not to be paranoid, but I was worried that he'd do something to Wes." At the mention of her son's name, her eyes shone brightly. "Can I check on him, see how he's doing? Adam, too?"

Danny nodded. "We'll have plenty of time for all that."

Fiona smiled. "Good. Well, a Syrian minister contacted us about some information he had. I volunteered for the assignment, knowing that it was risky but I knew I was the best person for it based on my history there. When I went for the final meeting at the Embassy I was abducted and taken to an airfield. My ex-husband planned to fly me out of the country on a private jet. Adam arrived and as I tried to escape, I was shot twice in the back. I'm pretty sure that Adam killed Farook and that he's really dead this time."

Danny squeezed her hand. "It's wonderful to see you again, I just wish it was under better circumstances for us both. Once you get used to this place, I think you'll be happy here." Danny stood from the sofa. "Come on, there's a lot to see here, and while I'm sure you have more questions, I can easily answer them walking around rather than just sitting here."

Fiona rose as well, but reached out and placed her hand on his forearm. "Danny, before we go, I just wanted to say thank you for what you did when we were taken. You saved my life in the most selfless way. I thought of you every time I had the chance to hug or kiss Wes."

* * *

"Well, I think that's everything you need to see for now. There are some other places I want to show you, but they can wait. Like I was here to greet you, I'd like you to take the responsibility to greet the next arrival from Section D. Just to make sure there's a friendly face around when they arrive. There may be other family or friends that plan to greet them, but at least this way they know there's someone they can talk to about work stuff, someone who can understand and appreciate that part of their life."

Fiona nodded. "I'd be honored to greet the next person. It's a great idea." She paused while she looked at him, wondering if she should tell him.

Danny seemed to read her mind. "What aren't you telling me? Fiona, whatever it is, just say it. You know there's no anger or sadness here."

Fiona took a deep breath. "I didn't attend your funeral. I did go to the church; I drove Adam there. But I couldn't bear to look at your coffin, knowing that it could have easily been me. It was all just too soon. I've always felt guilty about that, that I wasn't strong enough to give you a final and proper goodbye after the sacrifice you made for me. I did go to your grave a few weeks later, and I even sent your mum a note. I couldn't tell her exactly what happened of course, but I simply told her that I owed my life to you and that I was honored to have been your friend and colleague." Fiona's eyes were once again shiny with tears, and she and Danny embraced again.

"Thank you, Fiona. Don't worry about the funeral. It's not like I was really there anyway." He gave her a big smile and they embraced before moving on to their next destination.


	3. Fiona

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone for reading and especially to those who have left reviews. I hope you'll be willing to do the same for this chapter.

* * *

_Chapter 3 – Fiona_

"Leena, I'm so thankful that we've been able to renew our friendship, though this was never how I imagined it would happen," Fiona said as they sat at a little table enjoying the wonderful view.

"I know, it's so terrible what we both went through at the hands of Farook, but we don't have to worry about that any longer, or that anyone else will go through that, at least by him. For that I am thankful," replied Leena. She stood up from their table. "I do have to be going, however. I said I'd meet my mother soon, and you know how she is." She laughed lightly as did Fiona, both remembering what her mother had been like in her former life.

As Leena walked away, Fiona heard the words announcing a new arrival. She recalled Danny telling her that it was a time of mixed emotions; excitement to see an old friend, yet sad to know that those left behind were grieving. She wondered who she would find behind the door.

She walked into the room at the same time that Colin was coming through the other door. Of all the people Fiona thought she might see he was one of the last she expected to see.

"Colin! Welcome." Fiona smiled at the look on Colin's face and wondered if she'd looked much the same when she arrived.

"Fiona? How can you… Oh God, I'm dead, aren't I?" He was still standing in the doorway, frozen in shock. Fiona moved to the sofa and sat down, then reached her hand towards Colin, knowing all too well what he was feeling.

"Yes, Colin, you're dead. I know this is all terribly confusing. Come sit and tell me what you remember."

Colin found his feet and moved over to the sofa. After sitting and taking a moment to find his bearing, he slowly recounted the past couple of weeks for Fiona, ending with his death in the woods at the hands of Collingwood's men. Fiona was truly shocked at the turn of events, but she let Colin continue with his story. It would have been bad enough for something like that to happen to a field agent, but for a desk agent it was even more terrible.

After answering some questions about this place and where they were, Fiona asked Colin how everyone else was, especially Adam. While she often checked on Wes, she'd resisted the urge to check on Adam. She knew that it would be difficult to watch, especially with Adam's adventurous personality.

"Everyone's good. Adam misses you terribly, of course, but has thrown himself into work. He… he was shot recently but is already back at work. Jo is fitting in nicely, though she felt so guilty about what happened with your abduction and death. She and Adam have become close friends. Zaf was sitting between them in the Briefing Room one morning and joked that they were starting to act like brother and sister, and they both cuffed him on the back of the head. Gave the rest of us a good laugh on a bad day."

Fiona laughed at the image, happy that Adam had the support of his co-workers on the Grid.

"Malcolm, Harry and Ruth are still there and well. Zaf has started a book with odds on when Harry and Ruth will get together." This made Fiona's jaw drop, and Colin had his first genuine smile since he arrived.

"Harry and Ruth? Really?"

"Yes, Harry and Ruth. There hasn't been, or I should say hadn't been anything definite that happened, but once I started to look for it, I could see what others were seeing." Colin paused for a moment and then continued. "If I were still alive, I would never repeat this, but I don't see what harm can come from telling you." Fiona tilted her head, knowing that Colin wasn't one to gossip.

"What happened, Colin? What do you know about those two?" Fiona nudged his shoulder with hers and gave him a smile, which encouraged him to go on.

"About a month ago, we were held hostage on the Grid by a former agent, Angela Wells. It's a long story, but Angela's partner for many years was Ruth's step-brother. Harry convinced Ruth to tell Angela some story and in the end, Angela broke down and we were able to get the trigger for the explosives she'd smuggled onto the Grid away from her. Malcolm and I were examining the bomb and I went back to my desk for something and Harry and Ruth were standing in the back hallway. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they were quite close and looked as though they were more than section head and analyst."

Fiona smiled. "Good for them. I shouldn't be so surprised. Harry's relationship with Ruth was always a little different than with everyone else. I hope they find their way to each other. Besides, Harry needs someone. It wasn't that long ago that Danny died, then me and now you. I saw how he reacted after Danny's death; I know he takes the losses personally, even if he doesn't show it."

Colin nodded in agreement. "He was the same way after your death as well." They sat in silence for a few moments thinking of their boss and friend.

"What happens now? And speaking of Danny, will I be able to see him?" Colin's questions moved Fiona from her somber mood to one a bit brighter.

"Now I show you around, get you acquainted with how everything works. As for Danny, odds are we'll find him at the cricket pitch but yes, we can find him. He'll be… well happy maybe isn't quite the right word, but I know he'll want to see you as well." Fiona stood and moved towards the door, with Colin right behind her.


	4. Colin

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N: **Thank you again for the reviews. This chapter is a bit longer but it was also one of my favorite to write.

* * *

_Chapter 4 - _Colin

"Do you miss work, Colin? I mean, what's not to love about this place, but do you ever miss being on the Grid?"

Colin glanced over at Danny as they both sat upon a boat floating in the gentle waves of the lake.

"Hmm, not at times like this," he answered with a grin. "I do miss chatting with Malcolm, though. We both rather enjoyed being the geeks of Section D. After all, no one else could really appreciate just how often we had to reset passwords for certain co-workers because they couldn't remember."

Danny turned to Colin. "Fess up. Who was it?" Colin just kept grinning. "It was me, wasn't it?"

Colin laughed. "You were king for a while there, Danny. After you, it was some rookie researcher. I think he was terrified of both Malcolm and I because he had to ask us so often. Malcolm used to come back quoting Shakespeare to himself just to keep himself calm." Danny laughed at the image.

Just then, Colin received his notice of the coming visitor. "Guess I'll have to cut this visit short," as he started to move the boat back towards the shore. "I wonder who it will be this time," he added.

Danny didn't respond right away. "Well, whoever it is, bring them round soon to say hi. We need to hear some new gossip from the Grid." Colin laughed and went on his way as the boat reached the shore.

* * *

Colin entered the still-empty room and like those before him, wondered who he would be greeting shortly. He got his answer as the door opened and a blond woman entered. He'd never seen this woman before in his life.

Colin approached her with his outstretched hand. "Hi, I'm Colin. Colin Wells. You must be from Section D." The woman still had a bewildered look on her face and couldn't seem to find her voice, but she quickly shook Colin's hand. "Why don't you come over here and sit. I'll try and answer questions you may have."

The woman looked around the room, and then moved to sit on the other end of the sofa. "I don't mean to be rude, but where am I? Did you say your name was Colin Wells?" Weren't you killed…?" The woman's voice dropped off as the pieces fell into place. "Oh no, I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. As I said, my name is Colin and I worked in Section D when I died. It's become a tradition for those of us from Section D to greet the newest arrival, so here I am. I'm sorry, but I don't think I know you."

"Sorry, my name is Sally Bernard. I am, I mean I was, the analyst for Section D. As for how I died, I don't quite remember." Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember how she met her end.

Colin jumped in. "It's okay if you don't remember. Not everybody does right away. It'll come to you, though. You said you were an analyst?"

Sally nodded. "I'd only been there for a few weeks. I took Ruth Evershed's place." Colin looked surprised. He was about to ask why Ruth would have left Section D. "She committed suicide after an incident involving terrorists at a prison. I didn't know all the details." She looked over at Colin, who looked utterly confused.

He opened his mouth, but it took several tries for something coherent to come out. "Ruth is dead? No, I would have seen her. I would have greeted her and not you."

Sally shook her head. "Honestly, even though I don't have the details, you know how 5 is. For a group designed to keep national secrets, there were few personal secrets at Thames House. The rumor is that she did it to protect Harry Pearce because someone set him up over something. Ruth took the blame and then jumped into the Thames. I didn't know her, mostly just her reputation, but it surprised a lot of people."

Colin still couldn't believe it. Why hadn't he seen her when she arrived? He didn't think it had anything to do with the method itself as he'd met several folks here that had taken their own life. While his mind was trying to figure this out, he realized that Sally had started speaking again.

"I've remembered. It was Neil Sternin, on loan from 6 for an operation. He told me he was investigating Ruth's death and possible involvement by Harry and Adam, but something was off. I suspected Neil of downloading some information regarding suspects on a terror watch list from my computer. He came over to my flat to more fully explain the situation of his supposed investigation, and he stabbed me." Sally looked over at Colin. "I guess we both ended up on the wrong side of bad apples from 6."

Colin was still confused about Ruth, but now wasn't the time worry about that. He answered a few questions that Sally had and then he told her about the tradition. She looked uncomfortable.

"I don't think I can do that. I'm sorry, but I was only there a few weeks and didn't really get a chance to know anyone. No offense, but I don't really want anything more to do with Section D. It's a lovely tradition, really, but I won't be here to greet the next person, Colin, you should. I'd like to go and find my parents and forget that I was ever a part of Section D." She looked at Colin. "Please understand."

Colin nodded his head and agreed. "I'll take care of it, it's fine. Come on, I'll help you find your parents."

* * *

Colin once again found himself back in the waiting room, wondering who would be coming through the door. After he met Sally, he'd found Danny and Fiona and shared Sally's story. Neither could believe that Ruth would commit suicide so the three of them planned to ask around to see if they could find her. They hadn't had any luck and were at a loss to explain what happened. Colin was hoping that whoever walked through the door next might be able to tell him more, that they'd actually been in Section D when her 'death' happened. As the door opened, Colin looked up to see Zaf walk in the room.

"Colin, mate! So nice to see a familiar face." Zaf smiled widely as he approached Colin with his hand extended.

Colin shook his hand, "Zaf, you don't sound surprised to be here."

"Nah, to tell you the truth, this is welcome change of scenery from where I spent my last days on Earth." Zaf looked around the room before turning back to Colin. "This is Heaven, right? I mean, I was no angel while I was alive so it's probably best I check on that."

Colin laughed at Zaf's humor, something he'd always enjoyed about the man. "Yes, you're in Heaven. I guess your good deeds outweighed the not so good ones."

Zaf let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Good, glad I cleared that up. So, what happens now? I've no idea how this is all supposed to work." He moved over to the sofa and took a seat.

"Well, I'm here to welcome you and help get you acclimated. I'll answer any questions you may have and show you around, but before we go, do you mind if I ask you some questions? There's something that's been bothering me and I'm hoping you can shed some light on the matter."

Zaf responded, "Of course. I've got time, right? Unless I need to be somewhere right now."

Colin shook his head. "No, that's one of the perks of this place. Time takes on a different meaning. It doesn't pass like it did on earth. I'll explain it to you, but no, there's no orientation or rookie class you have to attend when you arrive."

"Good. I guess being dead doesn't rid you of the memory of having to sit through the orientation session for the Service, so I'm happy not to have to sit through another. Now what questions did you have for me?" Zaf leaned back on the sofa and settled in for the conversation.

"Well, first things first, what happened to you? You didn't seem as surprised to be here as others I've met."

"Adam and I were on our way back from Iran with an intelligence officer named Mehan Asnik when we were ambushed. Asnik and I tried to escape but I was shot. He'd been exposed to a biological weapon and when we were abducted I was infected as well. The group was called the Redbacks and they patched me up just enough to torture me for information, and then sold me on to others who continued the torture. I welcomed death by that point. What's bothering me is that I was so delirious from the pain that I can't remember what information I may have given up." Zaf reflected on this admission, and Colin could tell that it bothered him greatly.

"Zaf, I know it's easier said than done, but what's done is done. You can't do anything about it now. I know that you wouldn't have willingly said anything, and so does everyone else in Section D." Colin didn't know what else he should say, if anything, but he hoped that his words would give Zaf a small measure of comfort.

After a moment of silence, Zaf turned back to Colin. "Thanks. Logically I know that, but mentally it's tough to accept."

Colin decided that a change of subject would be a good idea. "Zaf, I'm hoping you can clear something up for me." He proceeded to tell Zaf about the tradition of meeting the next arrival from the Grid, and of his meeting with Sally Bernard.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, mate, but why isn't Sally here to meet me?" Zaf interrupted.

"She wasn't comfortable with carrying on the tradition seeing as how she'd only been in Section D for such a short time. Which leads into the matter I'm hoping you can clear up. Sally told me that Ruth died; that she jumped into the Thames to save Harry from something, but I've looked for her, Zaf. Fiona and Danny, too, and none of us can find her." Colin didn't mention the conclusion the three of them had reached; that Ruth wasn't dead but had been spirited out of the country much like Zoe had been.

"She's not dead, is she?" Colin asked, though the smile on Zaf's face made the answer unnecessary.

"No, Ruth's not dead. She did save Harry, and her leaving was hard on him. Adam and I tried to think of anything that would have kept her in England, but Ruth is smarter than us both." Zaf smiled sadly as he remembered those events.

"Sounds like a good story. Care to share it with me?" Colin asked, knowing that Zaf loved to tell a good story.

Zaf didn't disappoint. He started the story with the news of Harry and Ruth's date and how gossip on the Grid caused Ruth to refuse a second one. "We all felt just horrible. Jo especially, since she's the one that told us. Malcolm felt bad as well because he mentioned the date to Ruth, which is when she panicked."

He continued with the events of Cotterdam, including how Oliver Mace was behind everything. "I'd never seen Harry like he was when Ruth was in trouble. He even cut Mace's arm with a broken wine glass and tried to take the blame for everything, but it didn't work. We'd snuck Ruth out of her house and she and Adam went back to Maudsley's house and found the real drop. Once we realized that this was about the illegal torture of terror suspects, Ruth made up her mind that she would take the fall to keep Harry at Section D. That's when I realized how deeply she and Harry felt for each other. Both were willing to take the fall to save the other, but once Ruth's plan was in play, there wasn't anything Harry could do to stop it. I arranged a new passport and passage to France on a boat. Adam found a woman who matched Ruth's description who really had jumped into the Thames, and Harry identified her as Ruth. I waited with Ruth at the docks until the boat arrived and just as I left I saw Adam pull up with Harry. She hadn't wanted Harry to know where she was leaving from but I knew Adam would tell him. They said their goodbyes and then she was gone."

Zaf took a deep breath. "Harry didn't have time to grieve though. His daughter Catherine was injured in a bomb blast in Lebanon and he got the message when he returned to the Grid. He made arrangements, turned everything over to Adam, and he was gone. The Grid seemed so empty without Harry and Ruth, though we did occasionally hear from him. He eventually found Catherine and last I heard she was going to be fine. Harry returned to the Grid and he seemed fine, but there were little signs. I saw him stop and stare at Ruth's desk as he walked by and once he even started to say her name, but that was it. You know how Harry is; nobody keeps things bottled up better than him. Things with Iran started to heat up and I was sent to Tehran to work undercover. Then everything went to hell, and well, here I am, not in Hell apparently. Can't say I'm not a little surprised about that," he added cheekily.

Colin smiled as well. "I'm sure there was never any doubt where you'd end up."

Zaf laughed. "Thanks for that, Colin. Not sure it's true, but thanks for that."

Colin stood and stretched. "We've been sitting here long enough. We'll have plenty of time to talk but I think it's time I show you around and get you oriented."

Zaf rose as well. "Sounds good. I've always wondered what this place would be like. Guess there's no time like the present to find out."

As they reached the door, Colin suddenly stopped and turned back to Zaf. "One last question. What was the reading at my memorial service?"

"Walt Whitman. 'Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep, for the dead I loved so well.'" Harry did the reading, though Malcolm chose it. He told us later that your favorite book was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy but he didn't think that would be appropriate." Zaf paused for a moment and then added, "I wonder what the reading will be at my service? Hopefully Jo doesn't get to pick or I might end up with something out of Bridget Jones's Diary."

Colin and Zaf both laughed as they continued walking out the door. Colin added, "Can you imagine Harry reading that? Too bad we can't go back as ghosts; that would have been worth the trouble."


	5. Zaf

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** Once again, thank you for your reviews and kind words. Poor Sally was a bit depressed that you'd all forgotten about her. Though if you're like me, you've watched the eps up through 5.5 and then again after 8.1 a number of times and those in between not so much, so it's understandable.

* * *

_Chapter 5 - Zaf_

Zaf should never have doubted the beauty that would exist in this place. It was all around him; it was everywhere. Even the hottest nightclubs of London that he occasionally frequented were never filled with so many beautiful women.

Besides chatting up these women, Zaf enjoyed meeting up with the folks from Section D. Fiona and Colin introduced him to Danny, whom he'd never met since he came over to help Section D when Danny and Fiona were abducted. Zaf had seen how Danny's death affected Ruth, and the two of them chatted about their mutual affection for her. Danny had heard from Colin of Ruth's supposed death and was relieved to hear that Ruth had gone into exile, but what really surprised him was the relationship that had developed between Harry and Ruth. Zaf had also met a woman named Helen, who also died a horrific death, though hers was blessedly much quicker than his.

Zaf didn't intend to be late, but he'd found that the new arrival had beaten him there. The man was looking around the room trying to get his bearings, and had his back to him when he entered. Zaf instantly recognized the tall form and blond hair.

"Adam, mate, welcome. It's good to see you again." Zaf strode across the room to greet his friend.

Adam turned quickly at the sound of Zaf's voice and the confusion showed on his face. "Zaf? Is that really you?"

"It's me. I know you didn't have any other mates as cool as me." Zaf smiled as he and Adam embraced.

Releasing their embrace, the moved over to the sofa and sat down. After confirming Adam's suspicions about their whereabouts, Zaf answered Adam's questions about his captivity with the Redbacks and the Section D tradition. Adam recounted his last moments driving the vehicle into the square and his regret about not being there for Wes. Zaf didn't know how to respond so instead he tried to change the subject.

"How's everyone else? Jo, Harry, Malcolm, Ros?"

"Harry and Malcolm are well and making sure that the Grid runs with its usual efficiency. Jo, well, she had her own run in with the Redbacks." Adam glanced over at Zaf and saw the fear in his eyes. "She was abducted from her house. I was doing everything in my power to find her and was lured into a meet with a CIA officer that was a traitor, working for the Redbacks to snatch intelligence officers and was taken myself. By the time I got to Jo she was in bad shape."

"What did they do to her?" Zaf's voice had taken on a hard edge. "Adam, tell me the truth. I need to know if she's going through the hell I went through."

"She's free, and at home recovering. But she was raped while she was held, and she had a very hard time with the experience, understandably. When we were being held together, she asked me to kill her. She knew they would continue to rape her and she didn't want to go through it again. She was so afraid she would say something that would endanger another officer that she wanted me to kill her." Adam brought his hand up to wipe away the tear that had escaped from his eyes.

"What happened?" Zaf's voice had softened but he still needed to know what Jo had been through.

"I understood why she asked; Fiona and I had talked once about the risks and rape was her biggest fear, more than death or even torture. I couldn't do it, but she kept pleading with me. She was terrified and I could feel it with every fibre of my being. I'd actually come around to the idea of it; justifying it as a way to protect her but the cavalry arrived in time. She wasn't yet back at work though when I died. She took up running, whether as a way to try and escape her demons or to just give her a different pain to concentrate on, I don't know. Maybe it was both." At a questioning look from Zaf, he added, "She was running so much that she had blisters on her feet that were bleeding. I would bandage them for her when I visited. I hope that she'll be okay. Aside from Wes, leaving Jo behind while she's recovering from this ordeal is something that's going to be difficult for me to deal with."

Zaf nodded. "I'm sorry to hear what she went through. It's not something I would wish on many people, least of all Jo. I hope she goes back to work, though I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. Has she gotten close with anyone else on the Grid? Ros, maybe?"

Adam didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and the expression on his face showed just that.

"What? Why do you have the look on your face?" Zaf asked cautiously.

"Ros. Let's start with you actually."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, but when you were taken, Ros wouldn't let it go. She was tracking down leads in her free time and doing whatever she could to find you. She and I, well, we had a certain kind of relationship and it involved very little talking. So she never said as much, but I felt like she felt she needed to prove herself to the team and by finding you, she could do that."

Zaf looked a bit confused. "Not that I don't appreciate her efforts, but why would she feel the need to prove herself to the team? I know she had a rocky start with D, but by the time I left for Tehran she seemed to be fitting in alright."

"I think she still felt guilty for having turned Ruth in to Mace, and since she couldn't take that action back, she doubled her efforts to find you so the Grid wouldn't lose yet another officer," Adam postulated.

"Hmm."

"Yes, well she got mixed up in a group calling themselves Yalta. It's a long story but it ended with Ros and Harry tied to chairs in a country estate and Ros dead from an injection while Harry was made to watch."

"What? But Ros, she's not here!" Zaf exclaimed.

"I know. I replaced the poison with a drug that mimics death, but she didn't know that. So when Juliet,"

Zaf sputtered, "Juliet? Why was she trying to kill Ros?"

"Somehow Juliet got mixed up with this group. She's now wanted for treason and Juliet is smart enough to know how to disappear."

"Doesn't her wheelchair make that more difficult?"

"Oh yeah, she's not paralyzed either. Somehow in the time since we'd seen her last she regained the ability to walk. Anyway, we needed Yalta to believe that Ros was dead, so we held a funeral for her and there she was, in the coffin for everyone to see. Before the burial I woke her up and sent her away."

"So, the Grid lost another officer to exile?" Zaf asked.

"Well, temporarily anyway. Right before I got in the car I heard Ros call my name. She was back in town. I didn't get the chance to talk to her though."

Both men sat quietly for a moment, remembering their colleagues.

Zaf spoke first. "Well, enough of your happy stories, mate. This place is amazing and there's so much to see and do. And speaking of amazing, I know of a woman who will be thrilled to see you." Zaf stood and waited for Adam to do the same. He saw the slight frown on Adam's face change to a smile as the thought of seeing Fiona again took hold. Adam stood up and then asked Zaf to lead the way.

"First stop is to see Fiona. She could have requested to be your first contact, but she thought you would want to be part of the tradition. She did make me promise that if it was you I met that she would be our first stop. Since I know better than to cross a beautiful woman, that's where we are headed."

Adam laughed at Zaf's cheekiness. "That sounds like Fi." He turned to Zaf, his face suddenly serious. "Do you know if her ex-husband is here? Has she run into him?"

Zaf's serious look matched Adam's. "Danny, Colin, and I have made some discreet inquiries and none of us have seen him. Since we know that he did die, we assumed he ended up… elsewhere."

The two men stared at one another a few moments, before Adam spoke up. "Well, I know he liked the warm weather, so…" A smile crept onto his face, while Zaf was barely able to hold his back as well.

"Sounds like he ended up in the right place then." The pair laughed as they went to meet Fiona.


	6. Adam

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

* * *

_Chapter 6 - Adam_

Adam tried to relax on the sofa, but he was worried. It hadn't been that long since he was greeted in this same room by Zaf, and now he'd been called on to continue the tradition. He tried not to but he couldn't help but wonder who would walk through that door. It was a strange feeling, and the others from Section D who had gone before him said they felt the same thing – an excitement at seeing someone you know at the expense of knowing their friends and loved ones were left behind and grieving.

He had to admit that when Ben Kaplan, Section D's newest recruit walked through the door, it caught him off guard. Adam suspected the surprise on Ben's face matched his own. He stood to greet the new arrival. "Ben, welcome. It's nice to see you again."

Both sat down, and after the typical explanations of where they were and what it was like, Adam turned to a more serious topic. "Do you remember how it happened? If you don't that's okay, not everyone does right away."

Ben looked at Adam with a seriousness that surprised him. "I remember. I was murdered by Connie James."

That certainly wasn't what Adam expected to hear and Adam had trouble finding words in his shock. "What? Connie? Why did she…"

Ben nodded. "Yes, Connie James murdered me, that traitorous bitch." Ben took a deep breath. "Sorry, that's probably not the best thing to say here."

Adam simply smiled. "I think you'll be forgiven for showing some emotion. Tell me what happened."

Ben launched into the story of Sugarhorse and Connie's betrayal of the service. "Harry had been set up by someone, presumably Connie, as the mole. He was taken into custody the other night and is being held for questioning. Jo told me some guy named of Charles Grady was brought in."

Adam let out a low whistle. "In a twisted way it's a compliment to Harry. Grady is a master interrogator, the guy they bring in when nothing else works. Problem is, Grady's very good at mind games and has no problem using any and all drugs available to get what he wants. Of course, Harry's no slouch himself and I can't see why anyone would believe he would betray the UK to Russia."

"Well, paranoia does strange things to people. Right before he was arrested, Harry sent Lucas to Moscow to get information from one of his contacts about who really was the mole. Lucas called me from Moscow to say that he'd found out that Connie was the mole. Just as the call ended, she joined me in the Paper Archive and must have suspected that I'd learned the truth. She slit my throat with a piece of wire."

Adam was speechless. "I don't even know what to say. It's not that I don't believe you – I do – but I never expected to hear that Connie was a traitor. And you said Lucas was back with Section D?"

Ben nodded his head. "After you died Harry made Ros Section Chief and Lucas returned as an officer. Harry was worried about the effects of his ordeal, but since none of us knew him before, other than Harry, I don't know if he was any different. As for Connie, Jo told me her history with Section D, what she knew of it anyway, but I've no idea how long she was working for the other side. I wasn't in Section D all that long but I'm concerned about who else Connie will hurt to keep herself from being found out."

"As hard as this is to do, we have to trust that Ros, Jo, and Lucas will figure this out and stop her, which should free Harry. We'll know soon enough I guess," Adam added, though he was obviously still bothered by this information. "I'm glad to hear that Jo returned to the Grid. How is she doing?"

"She's doing better. She came back to work when she heard about your death; said she wanted to honor you and coming back to the Grid is what you'd have wanted. She's still dealing with what happened, but we were happy to have her back. Is there any way we can check on the situation and see what's happening?" Ben asked hopefully.

"We do have the ability to check in on people, but it's best to keep it short. We're strongly discouraged from following our loved one's still living. There's nothing we can do to help them if there's trouble and it can easily lead to stress and worry, something that has no place here. It sounds trite, but you'll understand what I mean in a few days." Adam stood and moved towards the door. "Let's get out of here and I'll introduce you to some of the others from Section D."

Ben followed Adam's lead and they left the room. "I didn't know any of them though. Maybe it's just best if I go elsewhere."

Adam kept walking. "Ben, other than a few relatives, do you have a lot of friends who've died?"

Ben shook his head no.

"I hate to point this out, but you aren't going to know a lot of folks here. I know you didn't work with any of them, but they're a good bunch and they all know Harry and Malcolm, a few knew Jo and Ros as well. We get together every so often and swap stories about the crazy things that happened. You'll meet new people here and make friends, but sometimes it's nice to get together and talk about the folks you knew that are still living. It'll be up to you, of course, but it's nice to have people you can turn to. Besides, the Official Secrets Act holds no weight here, so you don't have to worry about keeping secrets."

Ben nodded his head. "I'm sorry if I seem ungrateful. I guess I'm angry about being here in the first place, at my age no less. Probably not the best thing say, is it?"

Adam grinned. "It's understandable. You've heard of the stages of grief, right? Well, it's not just survivors that go through that. We all go through that, too, needing to accept the death of ourselves. Some of us knew death was coming, so that allowed us to move through the stages faster, but there's no schedule. I think you'll find that emotions like anger, grief, jealousy, and sadness have no power here. It really is a peaceful place." Adam paused to give Ben a moment to digest this information. "Ben, I'm not going to push you into anything; you are free to go where you want. But let me show you around, I'll introduce you to the gang from Section D, and you can decide from there what you want to do. Oh, and while we're on the way, I'll tell you about why I was here to meet you. It's all a part of a tradition to greet those from Section D, and I'd like you to carry it on." He stood and gestured to the door. "Are you ready to go?"

Ben nodded. "Okay, yeah. Sorry about before; the way I acted." At Adam's smile, he continued. "Time for a new adventure, I guess."

"That it is."


	7. Ben

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** It was fun to read the reviews and the speculations of whether Ben would greet Connie or not. Thank you for your comments – they really do make my day. And now, read on to find out who is next!

* * *

_Chapter 7 - Ben_

Ben found himself laughing at the stories being told by Adam and Zaf about their time on the Grid and he had to admit that Adam was right. Even though he didn't know any of the other officers before his death, they were people who could appreciate what life in Section D was like and since he hadn't been able to discuss his work in life, being able to do so now was nice. He hadn't been here long when the notice came that he needed to meet the next arrival from Section D. Everyone in the group stopped talking and Ben wasn't sure what to say.

"Well that was fast," he said. "I guess I'd better get going."

Danny spoke up before he left. "Ben, whoever it is, bring them back with you. We'll wait right here."

Ben nodded and thanked the group as he left to meet the new arrival.

It wasn't long before Ben returned to the group alone.

Zaf beat everyone to the punch. "Ben, who was it? Why aren't they with you?"

Ben took a seat and smiled. "I guess it's my turn to tell a story."

Everyone settled in and waited patiently for Ben to start.

"Well, I won't keep you guessing as to who I met. It was Connie." Ben paused, knowing there would be a strong reaction.

Only Adam was able to spit something out. "Connie? How did that happen?"

"My first inclination was to not believe a word she said, but she was so brutally honest that I can only imagine she's telling the truth. Then I remembered what you guys said about honesty and the fact that she's here, so…" Ben's voice trailed off.

Fiona spoke first. "Ben, are you ready to tell us what she said, or do you need some time? None of us have had to face the person that killed us, and you just arrived yourself. If you're not ready to do this," she trailed off as Ben's head shook.

"No, I'll be fine." He took a deep breath before starting to retell the tale. "Connie was the last person I expected to walk in the room, though in a perverse way I was glad to know that she was dead as well. She certainly was surprised to see me though, and she knew that she was dead."

Since he'd only recently told everyone the story of his death, he picked up from that point. "After killing me, she deleted the phone call from Lucas to cover her tracks. Dolby gave her the names that Harry had written up, which were not his Sugarhorse contacts but his own personal hit list of Russian officers. It was then that my body was discovered the others. She almost made it off the Grid but was stopped by Ros. By then Harry had been released from custody and was back on the Grid." Ben heard the sighs of relief that Harry was no longer being questioned by the likes of Charles Grady.

"Connie was arrested and was later being transferred from the Holding Centre when Lucas, Jo, and Ros stopped the transport and abducted Connie from her minders." He held up his hand to stop the questions he knew were coming. "Apparently the Russians had their own version of a Sugarhorse operation. A sleeper was awakened and a bomb was set to detonate and wipe out much of London. Connie knew of the operation. The bomb was brought to Connie, who wasn't able to completely disarm it, but she did disconnect the nuclear portion. The bomb still exploded, which she knew would happen. It wasn't powerful enough to do anything other than cause some damage to a little-used Underground tunnel and kill her."

No one spoke. No one knew what to say.

Finally Adam asked the question. "Did she say anything about what she did to you?"

Ben looked up at Adam and slowly nodded. "She did. She apologized and admitted she did it solely to protect herself. I… I didn't know what to say. Being angry with her doesn't change anything. I know I just got here, but I do know that." He shrugged his shoulders. "I told her I was disappointed about all the things I was going to miss out on by dying at such a young age. I think she was expecting me go off on her, but it's not worth the effort."

"I'm assuming you decided not to invite her back to our group; can't say I blame you for that," Zaf added.

"Actually I never even got that far, though I wouldn't have invited her here. She wanted to know why I was there to meet her. My mind was still spinning from her admission and apology and I started to tell her about the tradition. She interrupted me and said, 'I betrayed my country to the Russians and above all else, I murdered you. I don't belong as a part of your group.' Then she thanked me for meeting her and she left."

Adam nodded. "Well, I dare say none of us are too disappointed." Murmurs of agreement and nodding heads were all around. "On to a happier topic. Where were we again? Colin, I think you and Helen were about to share an embarrassing story of Danny from his early days on the Grid."

Helen laughed. "Oh yes, there are certainly a few of those." She and Colin shared a knowing look.

"Why does it always have to be me?" Danny muttered as his friends laughed.

* * *

It's some time later before Ben found himself sitting in the room again, waiting for another arrival from Section D. After the incident with Connie, Colin pulled him aside and told him about when he was called to welcome Sally, and she didn't want to be a part of the tradition, though for different reasons.

At the opening of the door he stood to greet the person coming through, who happened to be Jo.

"Jo, welcome!" he said enthusiastically as she cautiously entered the room.

"Ben, so good to see a familiar face here." The two friends embraced for a moment before parting and sitting on the sofa.

"So, do you know where you are, Jo?" Ben asked. While he'd known immediately that he was dead, others had told him that they didn't know where they were at first, so he was careful to take things slowly.

"I'm dead, right? I was there when your body was discovered. The image is still burned into my brain."

Ben nodded. "You're right, and you're in Heaven. How did it happen to you? Do you remember?"

Jo smiled. "Ros shot me."

Ben's eyes opened wide in shock. "She did what? And why are you smiling about it?"

Jo lightly laughed. "It's okay. It had to be done to stop a terrorist from detonating a bomb and killing everyone in a bunker, myself included. But first tell me, how are you? I've felt so guilty since your death…" she trailed off.

Ben was confused. "Why would you feel guilty, Jo? You weren't the one who killed me."

"I recruited you! If I hadn't done that you'd still be alive right now."

"Jo, you and I both know there's no guarantee of that. I could have just as easily been hit by a bus, or choked on a kebab, or bored to death by my editor. You met him once, you know it's possible."

Jo cracked a small smile. "He was rather dull."

"All I'm saying is that life doesn't come with guarantees. And if it was my time, it was going to happen no matter who I knew or where I was working. So tell me, why did Ros shoot you?"

Jo proceeded to tell Ben about the incident with the Bendorf group and the terrorists holding them hostage and how she was finally able to get into the bunker.

"I was a bit nervous in the lift, and thinking back I should have been terrified, but I knew I could do this. That I could stop all these people being killed and I did, I guess. In that moment, when Ros was holding the gun on us and I could see the question in her eyes, I didn't have to think. I loved my job but what happened to me with the Redbacks was slowly killing me, no matter what I tried. I knew it would be quick and that Ros would get it right. So I nodded, and she did." Jo looked over at Ben and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"Why are you crying, Jo?"

"I feel bad for my parents, for Harry, Ruth, Ros, Lucas, everyone on the Grid. I've been there, having to go back to work on the Grid after a fellow officer and friend has died and it's hard. So many friends lost during my time there. Ruth just came back – today was her first day on the Grid. Some welcome back this was!"

Ben wasn't sure what to do, other than to just let Jo get it out of her system. He simply sat next to her, rubbing a hand over her back as her tears subsided. A few minutes later, Jo rubbed her fingers under eyes, drying the last of her tears. "Sorry about that. I really was okay with dying. I'm not sure why I reacted like that."

"It's a lot to take in. Sometimes it doesn't matter how ready you think you are for something, when it actually happens it's overwhelming." Jo nodded in agreement. "Are you ready to greet some old friends? I know some people that would love to see you again." At Jo's look, Ben stood up and he started the list. "Adam, Fiona, Zaf, Colin…"

Jo smiled. "That sounds wonderful. Can we go now?" Jo said as she stood and followed Ben, ready for a reunion with her friends.


	8. Jo

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** Again, thank you for your reviews and comments. I'm overwhelmed by your generosity.

* * *

_Chapter 8 - Jo_

"Who are you, the Ghost of Christmas Past?" Ros asked once she finally found her voice.

Jo simply smirked. "I shouldn't admit this, but I've actually missed you and your sarcastic wit. Though now I'm trying to remember why."

Ros walked over to the sofa where Jo was sat and joined her. "Dare I ask whether this is Heaven or Hell? Or is this some alternate reality where I have to right my wrongs and serve penance by playing nice with the Americans before I can have some peace and quiet?"

"Relax Ros, this is Heaven, literally. You must not have pissed off enough people to end up here."

"Damn. Any chance I can go back and try again?"

Jo laughed. "Sorry, you're stuck here with our merry band of misfits. You'll have a chance to see Adam and Zaf again."

"Hmm. So what now? And no offense, but why are you here to meet me? An unnecessary reminder of my past deeds?

Jo shook her head. "Nothing like that. There's a tradition that involves greeting the newest arrival from Section D by the person who arrived most recently, so here I am." Uncharacteristically, Ros remained silent. "Do you remember how it happened?"

Ros turned to her with a steely glare. "Of course I remember how it happened. I can't... Couldn't get the bloody image out of my mind!"

Jo knew that everyone dealt with their death differently, so she tried to stay calm and let Ros vent. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Why? Don't you remember what happened?" A look of confusion crossed her face as an identical look settled on Jo's face.

"Ros, I was asking if you remember how you died." When Jo realized what Ros had been referring to, she took a deep breath. "I don't blame you for my death. If you hadn't shot Finn we all could have died in that bunker." Jo looked over to Ros, who was busy studying the far wall. "You were the only one on the Grid that had any idea as to the amount of pain I was in, Ros, and you helped me. You ended that pain and I'm sorry if you've felt guilt over it."

"Of course I felt guilt over it! I knew about my reputation as the Ice Queen but that doesn't mean I was heartless. Losing Zaf, Adam, even Ben was difficult, but Jo, losing you was the most difficult." Ros paused and took a deep breath before deciding what to say next. "Look, I didn't do friends, especially at work, but I trusted you and those on the Grid with my life. I had to and I don't know what that makes us."

"I think now we can be friends," Jo said cautiously.

After a moment, Ros nodded. "I think we can. But don't expect me to go all Kate Middleton and on you and be sweet and nice simply because I'm dead," she said seriously.

Jo laughed. "We may be in Heaven Ros, but even that would be a miracle of epic proportions. So now that we've worked that out, can we go back to my original question? Do you remember how you died?"

Ros nodded again. "It was an explosion. Lucas; he said he was coming back for me. I need to know whether he made it out of the hotel."

"We can check on Lucas when we finish here. Why was there an explosion?"

"A group called Nightingale was trying to provoke a war between India and Pakistan. The Home Secretary and the Pakistani president were being held at the hotel. Russell Price from the CIA was a member of Nightingale and injected them with something to paralyze them and was just waiting for the bomb to go off. Lucas and I found them and he carried out the Pakistani president. He was needed to make a statement to stop the standoff between the two nations. I stayed behind with Lawrence and tried to drag him out, but I couldn't do it and the bomb exploded. End of story.

Jo shook her head. "I'm not surprised, Ros." At the questioning look on Ros' face, Jo continued. "You always made sure that everyone knew you were just as tough as anyone on the Grid. But only you would manage to outdo Adam for most outrageous way to go out." Once the words were out of her mouth, Jo was unsure how Ros would take them, but a glance at her friend showed that a sense of humour wasn't lost.

"Yes, well someone has to keep his ego in check, though…" Ros trailed off.

"Ros, what were you going to say?"

"I just realized, Adam's wife is here as well." It wasn't a question.

Jo nodded. "Yes, Fiona is here. Don't worry, she'll be thrilled to have someone help Zaf to take Adam's ego down a peg or two." Jo seemed to sense that Ros needed a moment, so she waited for Ros to make the next move.

"Well, no use wasting time sitting here. Might as well jump right in. Besides, I could do with some old and familiar faces right about now."

"Let's go then, I'm taking you to meet a few of the gang. No one will believe me if I tell them you've arrived and not brought you around." Jo smiled and Ros matched the expression.


	9. Ros

**What Comes After**

**Summary: **A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

* * *

_Chapter 9 - Ros_

It was a surprise to most everyone, including Ros herself, how much she thrived in the tranquil peace of Heaven. She had adapted here, eventually letting down her closely held guard. Although not recommended, she had watched her own funeral. She was more surprised at Ruth giving the reading than that there had only been six people in attendance.

Ros had hoped that the relationship between Ruth and Harry would re-establish itself after her return from Cyprus. She was secretly pleased when Ruth returned to work on the Grid and that Harry and Ruth seemed to be getting closer. She watched them after her funeral; saw them share a private conversation after which they seemed more distant. Ros didn't have a lot of regrets in her life but reporting Ruth to Mace had been one of those actions that she wished she could take back.

And now, every so often, she peeked in on Harry and Ruth, hoping to see something good but the relationship seemed to be getting more tense. Ros tried not to let it bother her, but even here it was difficult. It was during this latest round of contemplation that she was called to greet the newest arrival from Section D.

The others had warned her about this feeling; excitement at seeing an old friend but dread at the thought that one of her friends may have gone through something terrible. Thankfully the wait was a short one before Lucas North walked through the door.

"Lucas, it's good to see you again," she said as she stood to greet him.

Lucas remained standing in the doorway and Ros took this as a sign that he was unsure as to where he was.

"Why don't you come and sit on the sofa with me and we can catch up with one another. It's been a while." Ros sat on the sofa and waited for Lucas to join her. When he didn't she tried once again. "Lucas, I know you're in shock but it will pass quickly. Please come sit and talk with me."

"No!" he thundered. "I can't. I don't belong here."

"Lucas…

"My name isn't Lucas North. It's John Bateman."

It took a few moments for Ros to process his words. "What do you mean you're not Lucas North? Sit down and tell me what's going on, right now."

Lucas took a seat in a chair along the opposite wall. "Ros, why are you here? Please, it would be better if you just left me alone."

"Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I'm here because of tradition, but you need to start explaining yourself. Tell me what's happened. Please," she added, hoping the softer touch would help.

Lucas realized that Ros wasn't going to let him leave without an explanation, so he started at the beginning, all those years ago back in Dakar.

Ros tried interrupting him several times, but he implored her to let him continue, which she managed to do until he admitted to abducting Ruth.

"You did what? I'd ask if you were insane but after what I've heard I'm fairly certain I know the answer."

"I've already told you that I made mistakes, and once Vaughn showed up in my life again each mistake I made compounded the problem. I should have gone to Harry right away, but I thought I could deal with it."

"What did you do to Ruth?"

"She's fine; I checked before I died and Harry found her. She's fine."

"Good to hear, Lucas. What did you do to her? Don't make me ask you again." Ros employed her best ice queen stare, knowing how effective it was in life. Granted she hadn't used it much since she'd arrived here, but some things you just don't forget, even if you are dead.

"After I took her, we actually talked. I knew that she suspected I was doing something; she was the one person I was most worried about finding out that I wasn't Lucas North. She even told me that Harry had proposed to her but that she said no."

Ros tried to hold in her surprise, but failed. "So that's what happened…" she trailed off.

"You knew? How did you know?"

Forgetting her irritation with Lucas momentarily, she said, "I watched them after my funeral. I couldn't hear them, but Harry said something to Ruth that led to an awkward moment and afterwards they both seemed dejected, Harry especially. He must have asked her then." She shook her head in disbelief. "What was he thinking?"

"I told her to say yes."

At that, Ros' head shot up. "You did?"

"I told her that she'd sacrificed enough in the name of the Service and that she deserved to be happy."

"I'm sure that was great comfort from the man, the friend, who'd abducted her. What did you do then; threaten to drop her in the river or over the side of a tall building?"

Lucas hung his head in shame. "I injected her with a sedative and then hooked her up to an anesthetic drip. Once I had what I wanted from Harry and thought that Maya and I escaped I gave him the address where she was. Maya was shot while we were trying to escape but I know that Harry found Ruth in time. I called him and threatened to detonate a bomb at London Bridge Station if he didn't meet me on the roof of Enver Tower. The bomb was a hoax; I didn't want to kill anyone else but I needed to see Harry one last time. He showed and it crossed my mind to shoot him and shove him off the building but I couldn't do it. So instead I jumped when his back was turned. And now I'm here, a place I didn't think I'd see."

Ros didn't know what to say. In life she was known for having just the right smart remark when the situation called for one, but here she'd let go of that. It wasn't that she still didn't come up with a good one now and then, but there wasn't the need for that biting humour. Listening to Lucas, or John, or whoever he was, she just didn't know how to respond.

"Lucas," she started.

"I think you should call me John. The real Lucas North is already here and I'm not sure exactly why I am, but I shouldn't be using his name any longer."

Ros started again. "John, do you think if I'd still have been alive when Vaughn first approached you, that you'd have made the same choices? Or would you have come to me for help?"

"I don't know. I don't think that I'd have been able to hide all this from you and Ruth. I'd like to think that I would have asked you for help, but more likely you would have found me out and not given me a choice. Things would have been different; certainly better for Maya in the end." He looked up at her and she knew what he was going to ask.

"Yes, you'll have the chance to find Maya." Making a snap decision, Ros stood and moved to the door. "I can show you around briefly, but then I'll leave you on your own."

"Wait, you said you were here because of tradition. What tradition?"

"I was the last person from Section D to die, so it was my duty to welcome the new arrival. But John, you can't be part of this tradition. Despite everything you've told me, I worked with you for two years and know that you saved a lot of lives in that time. I'm sure you did the same before your time in Russia as well, but that can't erase what you've done and that you're not Lucas North. I know it sounds silly in this place of peace and forgiveness, but forgiveness for your transgressions needs to be earned. Start by working on that, and then come find me and I'll connect you with Jo and Ben, even Adam if you want. But I can't let you greet the next arrival. I'm sorry."

It took a few moments before John met her eyes, but he nodded. "I understand. I've done bad things and while I'd like to believe that I did more good than bad in life, I want to… no, I need to atone for my sins." He took a step closer to her and stuck out his hand. "Thank you, Ros, for meeting me and listening. I hope that one day soon we can meet again as friends."

Ros looked at the outstretched hand and ignored it, choosing instead to step close and wrap her arms around him. It was a moment before he responded to the gesture, but he wrapped his arms around her as well.

"Thank you," he murmured into her hair before releasing the embrace.

"You're welcome. Let me show you around a bit and get you pointed in the right direction," she said as they walked through the door.

* * *

It wasn't all that long before Ros was back in the room waiting yet again, wondering who was next. She'd met with John a couple of times since his arrival and he updated her on what else was happening on the Grid. She'd heard about Dimitri and Beth, the two new officers. She had to admire Beth's resourcefulness in getting herself into Thames House to speak with Lucas and Harry. She was sure that Dimitri would do fine, considering his military background. Her thoughts had just turned to Tariq when he walked through the door, catching her off guard.

"Tariq! I… wasn't expecting you. Welcome." She stood to welcome him into the room.

Tariq simply looked around the room in shock. "What are you doing here… where am I?" Before Ros could answer him he answered his own question. "Aww, man, I'm dead, aren't I? I know I went to your memorial service."

"Yes Tariq, you've died and you're in Heaven. And no, I'm not your guardian angel, so you can stop worrying about that and yes, I got in here without having to bribe or threaten anyone."

Tariq let out a small laugh. "Thanks, Ros. It's good to see you again. I have to admit I was always more scared of you than Harry on the Grid."

Ros laughed. "Good! That means I was doing my job." She sat back on the sofa and indicated for Tariq to do the same. "Let's chat. Can you tell me how you died, or do you not remember quite yet?

He furrowed his brow as he thought about the recent events. "I was at home using CCTV to try and track the movement of a woman who stole a briefcase of classified information. Just as I found her my computer was hacked. I found a bug - a physical bug - in my computer and was headed back to the Grid with it. Someone bumped into me on the sidewalk and shortly afterwards I got sick. By the time I was close to Thames House, I couldn't breathe." As if remembering the feeling, he took several deep breaths. "Calum was there. I passed him the bug and that's the last thing I remember."

Ros nodded. "Who's Calum? Someone from the Grid?"

Tariq nodded as well. "The new Section Chief brought him along with her when she started. He's a tech guy but also does field work. Annoyed me to no end when he started, but he grew on me."

Ros smiled. "I know the feeling well." At Tariq's questioning look, the slight smile grew larger.

"You're talking about me, aren't you?"

Ros nodded. "Yes. It was nothing personal, mind you. I was accustomed to Malcolm, who wouldn't be caught dead on the Grid in anything other than a suit and tie and his hair neatly trimmed. You were the exact opposite, but you proved you were just as good."

Tariq smiled shyly. "Thanks, Ros. That's high praise, coming from you." Tariq paused before adding, "Don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why are you here?"

"Interesting story. It's a tradition started long before me but whomever died last welcomes the newest arrival in heaven. So here we are."

"But what about Lucas? You do know he's dead? Or did he not make it here?"

"Lucas, or John as he is now known, is here. He shared his story with me and I couldn't let him continue the tradition. I guess I felt that he didn't deserve the honour; and it is an honour to do this. What he did can't just be forgotten, but he's working on atoning for his actions. I see him occasionally and can arrange for you to meet if you wish. But I do want you to meet the other members here; you'll know Jo of course, but I think meeting the others would be good. Colin was a techie like you and he'd like to have someone else he can swap stories about the crazy things us field agents did that drove you all insane."

Tariq laughed quietly, realizing that this new life, for lack of a better word, was a lot like being the new kid at school.

"Do you have family members that have passed on that you want to find?" Ros asked.

"My grandfather and a cousin both died when I was a teenager. I'd like to see them again."

Ros stood and motioned towards the door. "Well, no time like the present to do so. Can I count on you to greet the next arrival? Hopefully it won't be anytime soon, but one never knows in our line of work."

"Of course. I'd be happy to do it. Thanks for being here to meet me Ros, I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Tariq. Let's get moving. A lot to see, people to meet and family to find," she said as they walked through the door.


	10. Tariq

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** Ruth gave me fits while I was trying to write this chapter and my thanks to r4ven3 for letting me vent to her about these challenges. I stole a line from Nicola for Ruth because I couldn't have said it better myself. Let me know if you recognize the line. Thanks again to everyone who has read and especially those who've reviewed. It's been a lot of fun to read your comments.

* * *

_Chapter 10 - Tariq_

Ros had introduced Tariq to the other members of the Section D group since he knew so few others in Heaven. Jo he knew, of course, but he had easily connected with the other members, especially the guys. They were busy with a football match when Tariq was called to welcome a visitor. Zaf and Danny both wished him luck and ask him to bring the new arrival back with him when he returned.

As Tariq walked to the room, wondering which of his friends he would be greeting. Since he'd arrived the business with the Gavriks had been weighing heavily on his mind. He avoided checking in on the members of the Grid, knowing he couldn't do anything about it. His visitor hadn't yet arrived, so he fidgeted and moved around the room, feeling too nervous to sit and be calm.

When the door opened, he turned to greet the person and gasped in surprise when Ruth entered the room. "Ruth, you're here," he said before walking over to her. His first instinct was to embrace her but at the look on her face he stopped short. "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?"

Ruth looked at Tariq and finally seemed to process who was standing in front of her. "Tariq," she gasped, putting her hands to her cheeks. A moment later she moved her hands to her left side, feeling along her ribs while she looked for something that didn't seem to be there. Her eyes moved back to Tariq's. "Where am I? What are you doing here? I thought you were dead."

Tariq nodded. "Ruth, I am dead, and so are you."

The only time he'd ever seen Ruth cry was when Harry had gone off to meet Lucas at Enver Tower. They were waiting for word of the outcome of the meeting and Ruth, who was normally the picture of calm and level-headedness, cried quietly as they waited.

Tariq fully admitted that he'd always been better with computers than people, but shortly after he started in Section D, he and Jo had dinner. Jo was in a strange mood that night; she was still dealing with the after effects of the suicide of Bibi Saparova but she was excited for Ruth to start working on the Grid again. Jo had told him about Ruth before she left England; Harry and Ruth's date and why she'd had to leave. Tariq never let on to Ruth that he knew some of her history and she'd never mentioned it. Despite their age difference, they'd always gotten along well and Tariq appreciated Ruth's ability to keep a level head no matter the crisis. This, however, was a different story.

Her eyes filled with tears and when she blinked a few ran down her cheeks. "No, no."

Tariq reached out and touched her arm in what he hoped was a comforting manner and tilted his head to the sofa. "Let's sit down and you can tell me what you remember."

Ruth nodded before taking the few steps needed before she could sit. Tariq sat next to her and offered her a tissue, which she accepted. She was thankful for the time to compose herself and was reminded that the last time she cried in front of someone it was Tariq. Harry. More tears escaped down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'll pull myself together in a moment."

"There's no rush," Tariq responded softly.

"I feel a bit foolish asking this question, but is this Heaven?"

Tariq nodded. "It is. You seem surprised."

"I am. I've never been very religious, though I studied religions in school. Honestly never thought I'd end up here, though that's probably more to do with the fact that I never truly believed this place existed."

"You're not the first person I've talked to who felt the same way. Ruth, are you ready to talk about how it happened? Or you could tell me what's happened with the Gavriks if you prefer," Tariq said.

"I know how it happened. It was Sasha Gavrik; he stabbed me."

Tariq wasn't expecting that. "What? Why would he stab you?"

"He was trying to hurt Harry and I stepped between them," she started. Going back to Tariq's death, Ruth told him everything that happened with the Gavriks, including Jim Coaver's death, Harry's handover to the CIA and his subsequent liberation by Dimitri and Erin.

"Sasha was upset about his mother's death. She'd manipulated him so much but he wanted someone to blame. He accused Harry of giving Ilya the key to the room, but I'd given it to him. Sasha was holding something – a piece of glass or metal – and I couldn't let him hurt Harry. I didn't even think about being hurt myself. Next thing I knew I was laying on the grass with Harry looming over me. Calum called for help but it took too long." The tears had started again, this time in earnest.

"Ruth, we don't have to do this right now, or ever, if you want. Would you rather we leave and I show you around?" Tariq asked.

Ruth shook her head. "No, I'm sorry, I'm not usually this emotional. I'm upset because Harry and I, we…" She paused and took a deep breath. "Harry and I were going to leave the Service together; try and have a normal life. But the last words I said to him were that we weren't meant to have those things."

Tariq tried to process everything she'd just told him while giving her time to grieve. After a few minutes he said softly, "I'm sorry, Ruth. I don't know what to say."

She turned to look at him. "You don't seem surprised that Harry and I planned to be together."

"Jo told me one night over dinner. She didn't say a lot, just that the two of you had gone to dinner, you know, like a date, before you had to leave years ago. I think she was hoping that your return to the Grid meant there was still a chance for you two."

Ruth let out a hollow laugh. "So many things have happened between us; death and duty and deception. Ros died and then Lucas started acting strange. I felt, well I felt numb. After the incident with Keith Deery I told Harry that I was dead inside. I felt like I should have been grieving for George, but the truth was that I wasn't, that the grief had passed and then I felt guilty because I wasn't grieving. It was all so crushing and I felt like I'd never get out from under that weight. After I was rescued from Lucas I said horrible things to Harry and then he went to meet Lucas and I realized that despite everything, the only thing that mattered was Harry and having him in my life."

"So when Lucas jumped instead of killing Harry…"

"I knew this was my last chance. I vowed that somehow or some way I would do whatever it took to build a life with Harry, even if it took a few years to get there. We were going to live in this amazing cottage and have a fantastic life together. That must be why I'm so emotional."

"Ruth, it's okay to be emotional. Coming here is a big change." Tariq paused, "I don't know what else to say," he admitted.

Ruth laughed. "Thank you for being honest with me and for just being here. You've been great. Speaking of which, and I don't mean to sound insensitive after I've cried on your shoulder all this time, but why are you here?"

"It's a tradition for the newest arrival to be welcomed by the person who arrived before them. You'll do the same, won't you?"

Ruth nodded. "Of course." She took a deep breath. "I think I need a distraction and I've just realized that I can probably see my father again, right?"

Tariq smiled. "Absolutely. How old were you when he died?"

"Eleven. It's been 30 years since I've seen him. He was my best friend as a child and not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of him or been reminded of him."

"Well, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you as well. With any luck, you'll be seeing him shortly." And with that, he led Ruth from the room.


	11. Ruth

**What Comes After**

**Summary:** A look at the lives of a few officers after they've left Section D.

**Disclaimer:** Spooks, the characters, and any recognizable plots associated with the show belong to Kudos and the BBC. I'd like to think I'm leaving them in better shape than when I found them.

**A/N:** This is it – the final chapter. I joked with a few people that I may be the first person to write a story in which people want Harry to die, if only so he can be reunited with Ruth. You'll have to keep reading to see who she greets. I enjoyed the opportunity to go back and revisit so many of the characters – some of whom were easy to write and others gave me nothing but trouble. In one way it was nice to have so much material to work with but it just reinforces how many people were killed off on this show. :-( Thank you for your comments and if you have a moment, I'd love to have one last review.

* * *

_Chapter 11 – Ruth_

"And so after Adam picked up the crossbow and pointed it at him, I asked if I should hit him again."

James laughed in delight at the story. "Ahh, my little Ree, you led quite the adventurous life. Even though you preferred your books above all else, I should have known that you would find a way to turn your love of those into a real life adventure."

"Well Dad, there were plenty of times I'd wished for a little less adventure in my life," Ruth said, with a wry smile.

"Don't be sad about the bad times. Remember the good things and the good times." James Evershed enjoyed the time he spent with his daughter now that they were reunited. "Last time we met, you told me you were planning to meet George. How did that go?"

Ruth sighed. "It was awkward. George was polite and told me that he'd forgiven me for what happened leading up to his death but that he didn't wish for me to contact him again."

"Were you hoping for more?" asked James.

"I was hoping that George and I could be friends. He told me that he's happy; he's reunited with his wife Melaina and he's content with his life here. I just need to leave well enough alone."

"I agree. Maybe in the future George will be more open to friendship," James suggested.

Before Ruth could reply, she received her summons of the new arrival. Turning to her father, she said, "I'm sorry to cut our visit short but I need to go."

"Time to welcome a new arrival, yes?" Ruth nodded. "If it is Harry, you'll bring him around to meet me? I want to meet the man who has captured your heart so completely."

Ruth smiled and embraced her father before leaving.

On her way to the room, Ruth thought about the possibility of Harry arriving. Was it wrong to hope for him to arrive, knowing that it meant him going through death, possibly in a terrible and painful manner given their line of work? If it wasn't Harry, then it could be Erin, Calum, or Dimitri, but the thought of her younger friends dying wasn't any better. As she arrived at the room she wondered if she would even know the person arriving, much like Colin welcoming Sally. Thankful that she wasn't late, Ruth tried to make herself comfortable but found that she couldn't sit still. Unconsciously she started pacing the length of the room and was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door open.

"Is that what you call pacing in a good way?"

Her back was to the door but as soon as she heard his voice she turned towards him, her hands on her mouth trying to hold in the gasp of surprise.

Harry stood in the doorway and Ruth sincerely hoped this wasn't a dream. He looked just as she remembered him, his hazel eyes shining as his mouth was turned upwards into a smile.

Ruth still hadn't said anything, partly afraid that this was all an elaborate hallucination on her part. She watched as he moved towards her, stopping when he stood face to face with her. It wasn't until Harry placed his hands on her arms that she was jolted into action. Her arms snaked around his neck and she pulled him into a tight hug. She didn't even try to stop the tears that fell from her eyes as she was finally able to fully embrace the man she'd loved for the past decade. Harry responded in a similar fashion, tightening his embrace on her and burying his face into her neck. It was some time before Ruth pulled her head back to look at Harry again, still unsure whether this was all real.

She sniffled and wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt. "Are you really here?"

Harry nodded as Ruth's hands moved from the back of his neck to his face, her thumbs wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I'm here. Please tell me that we don't have to be separated any longer."

Ruth smiled and shook her head. "No, we can be together, just like we agreed."

Ruth couldn't hold back and longer and she leaned in to kiss Harry, both of them simply enjoying the feeling of the other's lips on theirs. They broke apart and another hug was shared before Ruth motioned for Harry to join her on the sofa. They had a lot of catching up to do but Ruth didn't want to break contact with Harry. They sat down close to one another and their hands clasped tightly together.

"You do know where you are, right?"

"As long as I'm with you I don't much care where I am," Harry said with a smile.

"Charming as ever, I see. For the record you're in Heaven.

"And as I said, as long as I'm with you I don't care where I am. I'd have lived in the mountains of Siberia and never seen another living soul if it meant we were together."

Ruth smiled. "I still can't believe you're here. I wanted it to be you, but then I felt bad about wishing for your death."

Harry's head tilted as he thought about her words. "What did you mean, you wanted it to be me?"

"There's a tradition for greeting the departed from Section D. Helen started it when Danny arrived and it's been going ever since. I was the last to arrive, so it was my honour to greet the next arrival, and you will have the honour of greeting the next arrival when the time comes. We've become a close-knit group and it's been wonderful to reconnect with all these friends who were so dear to me in life. Danny, Jo, Zaf, Adam and Fiona, Colin, Tariq, even Ros; to see them all again and to know that they good and happy, well I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. I've even met Ben and of course Helen, whom I've already mentioned."

Harry nodded, obviously in thought. "What about the others? Lucas and Connie, are they here?"

"They are. Lucas goes by his given name of John now and I've seen him a few times. He came to one of our gatherings briefly, but I think he still feels like he needs to make amends for his wrong doings in life, but I hope that one day he'll feel comfortable to join us. As for Connie, Ben told me that when she arrived she owned up to her actions but said that she didn't deserve to be a part of the Section D tradition and she left. No one has heard from her since. I'm not sure that anyone minds, either." After a pause she added, "Oh, and there was one other. Sally was her name, she was my replacement when I left."

"I hate to say that I'd almost forgotten about her. It was a crazy time as I'd just gotten back from helping Catherine after her injuries and was still adjusting to you being gone. How is she?"

"I've not met her. Colin greeted her, which apparently was a bit awkward since he didn't know her either, but she chose not be a part of the group. She felt that she hadn't been there long and didn't really know anyone. I guess I can't blame her."

"Hmm." Harry lifted their joined hands and kissed Ruth's hand, enjoying the feel of her next to him. "What happens now?"

"Well, before we go I want to hear what you've done since I… since I died." She looked at Harry and saw the pained expression on his face. "We don't have to talk about it if you'd rather wait."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's okay. But I'm going to start right after your death and it may take me a while to tell the story."

Ruth smiled and squeezed his hand in support.

"I'm not sure how I got through the first few weeks after you died. It was a level of pain I'd never known. I went to the house, the one you put an offer on. I don't know what I expected to find there other than what you told me but as I stood in the doorway to the kitchen, I heard your voice. I would have moved into that cottage with you the next day Ruth, without reservation. But I'd agreed to leave the Service with you, and I wasn't sure that I could bear to leave it without you. So I turned and left. Towers called me as I drove back to London and I didn't say a single word the entire time. I locked my emotions up tighter than I'd ever done because it was all I knew how to do."

Ruth knew this was difficult for Harry to recount, so she tucked herself under his arm and rested her head on his shoulder with her hand over his heart. It was the most physical contact they'd ever had, but Ruth felt no discomfort in their closeness.

"Almost a week later your solicitor rang to tell me that I was the executor of your estate, so I went round to your house. I needed something constructive to do, but before I started going through your things I listened to a song on your iPod – the one in the playlist with my name - and finally broke down. I cried like a baby on your sofa, but it must have been what I needed because I felt a bit better when I was done."

Harry paused to look down at Ruth. "Why are you smiling?"

"I remember that song. I thought of you the first time I heard it and I downloaded it right away. I listened to it a lot in those months before I died."

Harry turned his head and kissed her hair before continuing.

"When I returned home from your place I had a call from Catherine, wondering if we could have lunch. I invited her over the next day. She knew something wasn't right. I'd always tried to protect my children from my job; from me really, but something told me to go against my instinct and I told her the entire story - you, me, your return from Cyprus, my proposal, your death. We both ended up in tears but strangely it felt good for someone else to know about us. We agreed to see each other regularly and we met about once a week, even if it was only for a quick walk along the Embankment. It was a few weeks later that she started telling me about Graham. He was clean, going to school, and working to get his life in order. It made me smile, since certainly little else was worth smiling about then. I'd always hoped that eventually Graham and I could reconcile, but above all else I wanted him happy and healthy."

"One week I left to meet Catherine for lunch only to find Graham waiting in her place. It was awkward at first and it was probably good that we were in a public place so we didn't let our emotions get the best of us. I was honest with him, apologized for my actions and told him that all I wanted was for him to be happy and if not seeing me made him happy, I would respect his decision. He surprised me by laughing."

Ruth interrupted. "Why did he laugh at you?" she asked.

"Apparently Catherine started talking about meeting with me and she told him a bit about your death and how she felt it was affecting me. Graham decided that he wanted to try and see if he and I could have a relationship again. I don't think he expected me to be so upfront with him. He even apologized for using me and my poor behavior as a father as an excuse for some of choices he made. It was a good lunch and we agreed to work on building our relationship, which we did. It wasn't easy but we both made the effort and after a year I felt like we had a good relationship. Catherine was thrilled of course and the three of us had a standing dinner date for the first Sunday of the month. Catherine and Graham were the reason I made it through that first year after your death."

Harry paused as he pulled Ruth close to him in an embrace.

"The more time I spent with my them the more I felt it was time for me to leave Section D. I'd been talking with Malcolm, who had a small consulting business dealing with security and technical issues for companies and he asked me to join him as an advisor. I could work from wherever I was, it wouldn't be full time, and it would allow me to still exercise my brain without all the stress and long hours. I told the DG of my plans to retire and gave him six months' notice. I wanted time to finish up the cases we were working on and give him time to name a replacement."

"Was it Erin?" Ruth asked.

Harry nodded. "It was. She took on some of my duties after your death. I think she knew that I would bury myself in work so she started taking on more of my work. She wasn't overstepping; these were things that I'd started doing when Lucas went off the rails and kept doing when I returned after the Inquiry. It infuriated me at first; I felt like she was trying to force me out. After a tense night on the Grid she brought the matter to a head. This was barely a month after you'd died and I was afraid that if I didn't have my work that I wouldn't have anything to distract me from my grief. Erin was honest with me about why she'd taken on some of the duties and I came to understand that she wasn't trying to undermine me or my authority on the Grid. She was giving me the time to deal with my grief and to see Catherine and not be able to use work as a reason not to do those things. As the year went on, our working relationship progressed and I started grooming Erin to take my place. Any reservations I had about her disappeared in that year; she was nearly as good as Ros had been."

Ruth smiled at the statement, knowing that for Erin to be compared to Ros was high praise from Harry.

"We'd been tracking a small group of eco-terrorists who felt that the government wasn't doing enough to protect the environment. They were vocal – writing letters, holding protests, etc. – but they'd not given any indication that they were intending to escalate their actions. Several cabinet members were threatened including Towers and Rhys Stanley of DEFRA. Since Mr. Stanley and I were approximately the same age and build, I stood in for him during a meeting at which this group had threatened to attack. Based on all our intel, we didn't feel the group had the resources to pull off an attack of the magnitute they'd implied in their threat, which is why I was there. In the end though, I was abducted and taken to a speedboat waiting on the Thames. As Special Branch pursued us on the river, I struggled with one of the terrorists. When the driver made a sharp turn in an effort to outmaneuver their pursuers, I fell and hit my head on the edge of the boat and then fell in the water. I must have been knocked unconscious and once in the water I wasn't able to right myself. Next thing I knew I was here and walking through that door."

Ruth turned and moved out of Harry's embrace just enough to face him. Her left hand slid from its place on his chest up to the back of his neck, where she used it to pull him close for a kiss.

When the kiss ended Ruth opened her eyes to look at Harry. She still couldn't believe that he was here and they were together. She was watching him when an expression she couldn't identify showed briefly on his face.

"What is it?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You had an expression of something for a moment, but I'm not sure what it was," she said.

Harry signed. "Ah that. I just realized that I was killed by a bunch of tree-hugging hippies."

Ruth's lips tightened as she tried to hold in her laugh, but the now open look of disgust on Harry's face was too much and the laugh escaped. "Sorry!"

Harry just shook his head, but even he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"So what happens now?" he asked.

"Whatever you want to happen. I can gather our friends; I know they would love to see you. My dad wants to meet you," Ruth said with a smile.

"Me? What did you tell him?"

"I told him everything. Like you, I had a difficult time after my death. Being separated from you just when we were ready to start a life together was hard and my dad helped me get through it. I told our friends as well. I made the mistake of letting their actions interfere with our relationship once before and when everything was happening with Cotterdam I swore if we had another chance I wouldn't let the opinions of others get in our way. It wasn't a surprise to them anyway. Apparently Zaf was running a book as to when we would get together and John told Ros that you'd proposed to me."

At this Harry's eyes widened. "How did Lucas, sorry John, know that?"

"I told him, after he abducted me. We talked, actually. He told me to be brave; that I'd sacrificed enough. Anyway, they've all been wonderful and supportive. Is there anyone you want to see?"

Harry was quiet for a moment, remembering his beloved mother Fiona and brother Ben, neither of whom he'd seen in many years. "My mum and my brother. I was close to both of them and it's been so long. I want to see them first, if you don't mind."

"Harry, you can see whomever you want. Tariq helped me find my father before I saw everyone from Section D. I understand what you're feeling. I'll help you find them and then when you are finished I'll get everyone together." Ruth extracted herself from Harry's embrace and stood up, but he kept hold of her hand.

Keeping his eyes on her, he stood as well and wrapped his other hand around her waist, pulling her close. "Will you come with me, to meet my mum and Ben? Please?"

"Are you sure? It's been a long time. You might want that time to catch up with them on your own."

"Ruth, I want them to meet you and I want to be with you. I know that sounds clingy, but after the last two years…" Harry trailed off, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say.

"Harry, I'm happy to stay by your side and I'd love to meet them. We're together now and I'm not going to waste this opportunity. We don't need to worry about the Service or the security of the U.K. anymore. I love you. This is our time, Harry, and we can have those things."

"I love you, too, and it feels good to finally say those words." Harry pulled her in for one last kiss before they walked from the room, finally ready to start their life together.


End file.
